College students: Looking for a worship home in the Elgin area? We have created a page for YOU. But before you go there, here are all the reasons not to.
Top 10 Reasons College Students Should NOT Attend Elgin Covenant
10. Pastor Jonathan’s sense of humor is so lame, he has to steal from David Letterman.
9. Pastor Jonathan is 42 years old, but he thinks having a Facebook page and a Smartphone makes him cool.
8. Chances are if you needed a ride to church, you would end up a passenger in a really uncool mini-van.
7. Every Sunday they have a continental breakfast with Sunday school, and then snacks in fellowship after church, and on Wednesdays they host a dinner for just $2 a plate, which will really spoil the image of being a starving student.
6. The sick are healed, the poor are helped, the sad are consoled, prayers are answered, and the Bible is preached as the only perfect rule for faith, doctrine, and conduct — but besides that we really don’t have that much to offer.
5. We don’t use elephants in our Christmas shows.
4. The pool queues in the youth room need new tips.
3. Our renovations for handicapped accessibility might kick up a little bit of dust.
2. The powerpoint system is soooo XP.
And finally, the number one reason a college student should not attend Elgin Covenant Church:
1. Our older people will smother you with so much love your Mom might get jealous.